


Let Go

by KiraMae



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-07
Updated: 2013-10-07
Packaged: 2017-12-28 16:15:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/993966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KiraMae/pseuds/KiraMae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes love is not enough.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let Go

There were new lines on his face; grey at his temples, and stubble on his jaw. She had a sudden vision of what he’d look like as an old man. Weathered and rugged, gone the smooth lines of his youth, but some how infinitely more handsome because of that fact; the inky black hair turned to gunmetal grey, perhaps a salt and pepper beard around his sensitive lips, hiding his rare smiles. She ached to see him like that, one day. But things were not so simple as all that.

She pushed back from the table, and stood to leave. It seemed strange that her heart was still beating in her chest, and not lying bloody on the table, for some Apollo Cafe employee to have to mop up after she left. He caught her wrist; she stopped, but kept her eyes downcast; she couldn’t face him.

“So it’s that easy? You don’t love me, you’re just going to walk away?” His husky voice seemed on the verge of breaking; she wondered, if she turned, would there be tears in his amber eyes? She dared not look.

“It would be easier to walk away if I  _didn’t_  love you, Kaidan.”

“Is this- is this about him?”

She smiled bitterly. “No. He’s not coming back, and even if he were, he was never who I wanted. Is it so hard to believe I just think we’re better off apart?”

“Why did you ask me back to the Normandy then, why did you want me if- if you didn’t  _want_  me?”

“Because you’re a damn good soldier, Kaidan, and I wanted your help to win this war. I wanted you at my back, not in my bed.”

“Is that all it was to you?” His hand dropped away from her wrist, his voice gone flat and angry.

“Of course not.” She finally looked at him, but he wasn’t facing her anymore, staring moodily at the tabletop instead.

“Then what?”

“You were special.”

“Special? Shepard, I love you!”

“I know. I’m not asking you to love me, Kaidan, I’m asking you to trust me.”

“Can’t I do both?”

“Things are complicated now.”

A barked laugh, an amber eye peering at her sidewise. “They weren’t complicated then?”

She had to look away, her face humorless. “They were. And I died. Do you think I want that to happen to you again?”

The silence stretched between them; he had no response for that. Good. Maybe he understood what was at stake now. Lifting her leg and stepping forward seemed a monumental effort, but she did it. This time, when she walked away, he didn’t stop her. His eyes lingered on her retreating form, but… this time he let her go.


End file.
